A fart can be quiet, a fart can be loud,

Some leave a powerful poisonous cloud

A fart can be short, or a fart can be long,

Some farts have been known to sound like a song.....

 

A fart can create a most curious medley,

A fart can be harmless, or silent and deadly.

A fart might not smell, while others are vile,

A fart may pass quickly, or linger a while......

 

A fart can occur in a number of places,

and leave everyone there, with strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie, to small elevators,

A fart will find all of us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad is simply not true -

We must not forget... sweet old farts like you!

 

Some people come here to sit and think
and some come here so shit and stink
I just came to scratch my balls
and read the poems on the walls

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Here I sit
What a caper
I have to shit
But I'm out of paper

You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit in my pants!

Here I sit,
I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away

Here I sit,
Brokenhearted.
Hoped to shit
but only farted...

FARTERS: CATEGORIZED


Antisocial Farter: One who excuses himself and farts in complete privacy.

Amiable Farter: One who loves the smell of other peoples' farts.

Athletic Farter: One who farts at the slightest exertion.

Bruise Farter: One who farts so hard and loud that he bruises his butt cheeks.

Dishonest Farter: One who farts and then blames the dog or the kid.

Environmental Farter: One who farts regularly but is truly
concerned about air pollution.

Foolish Farter: One who suppresses a fart for hours and hours.

Female (Dishonest) Farter: They let you think they don't fart until you marry them.

Honest Farter: One who admits he farted but offers a medical reason for it.

Impudent Farter: One who farts loudly and then laughs.

Lean Farter: One who has to lean to one side to let a fart out.

Intellectual Farter: One who determines from the smell of his neighbor's fart precisely the latest food item he consumed.

Miserable Farter: One who would truly love to but can't fart at all.

Musical Farter: One who farts and you can name that tune.

Nervous Farter: One who stops in the middle of a fart.

Poop-Toot: One whose farts let him know when a poop is coming through the tunnel.

Proper Farter: One who always tries to punctuate his farts, Borga style.

Proud Farter: One who thinks his farts are exceptionally fine.

Sadistic Farter: One who farts in bed and then fluffs the bed covers over his bed mates head.

Scientific Farter: One who tries to determine what caused the fart.

Sensitive Farter: One who farts and then bursts into tears.

Shy Farter: One who releases silent farts and then blushes.

Snob Farter: One who thinks their poop doesn't smell but whose farts give them away.

Strategic Farter: One who conceals his farts with loud laughter.

Syllable Farter: One who only lets one puff at a time.

Thrifty Farter: One who always has several farts in reserve.

Unfortunate Farter: One who tries awfully hard to fart but shits instead.

Vain Farter: One who loves the smell of his own farts.

Poems from the WC    Lokumsdigterier!


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