|
Tax
his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his
tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his
tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his
cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his @?#!
Tax all he
has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.
When he
screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his
coffin ,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
Put these
words
upon his tomb,
" Taxes drove me to my doom...."
When he's
gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts
Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporat e Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service
Fee Tax Telephone Federal, State and
Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring
Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
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Obituary
of the late Mr.Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old
friend, Common Sense, who has been with us
for many years. No one knows for sure how
old he was, since his birth records were
long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such
valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in
out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it
was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound
financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies
(adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well-intentioned, but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a
6-year -old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash
after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only
worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents
attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in
disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were
required to get parental consent to
administer first aid cream, sun lotion or a
band-aid to a student.
Common Sense lost the will to live as
churches became businesses and criminals
received better treatment than their
victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in
your own home and the burglar could sue you
for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to
live, after a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled
a little in her lap, and was promptly
awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his
parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know
My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm
A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you still remember
him, pass this on. If not, join the majority
and do nothing.
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Copyright
© 2010 Bent Bay
At first I
thought this was funny...then
