And They Ask Why I Like Retirement !


Question: How many days in a week?
Answer:    6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:   Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:   Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:   There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:   The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer:   Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:   They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:   NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Normal .

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer:   The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to
school as a retiree?
Answer:   If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer:   He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

My favourite

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest.


Retirement Fun

So you're a senior citizen now,
Well, congratulations friend!
You've reached the point of no return,
The beginning of the end.

You know, it's all downhill from here,
At least that's what they say.
No job, no boss, no work to do,
And don't forget -- no pay!

You're on what's called a "fixed income",
As much as they allow.
Mine wasn't broke, I told them so,
But they fixed it anyhow!

And oh yes, another thing,
You'll be eating cheaper now.
Won't have to buy delicious foods,
Can't eat them anyhow.

The doctors say, "You watch your weight!"
"Your cholesterol's too high!"
And you need to get that pressure down,
Or else you're gonna die!

And many other benefits, We didn't talk about,
Bifocals, bunions, "Meals on Wheels",
It's enough to make you shout!

So have fun, enjoy and laugh alot.
No need of being blue.
You've waited all your life for this,
And now it's all come true.

So, cheer up friend, as you join in,
And don't be sad or glum.
Just grin and bear it best you can,
The worst is yet to come!

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