GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

      1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
      2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
      3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
      4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
      5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
      6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
      7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
      8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
      9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
      10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


      GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

      1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
      2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
      3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
      4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
      5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
      6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.



      GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

      1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
      2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
      3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
      4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
      5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
      6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
      7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.




      THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

      1) You believe in Santa Claus.
      2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
      3) You are Santa Claus.
      4) You look like Santa Claus.


      SUCCESS:


      At age 4 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
      At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
      At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
      At age 35 success is . having money.
      At age 50 success is . . . having money.
      At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
      At age 75 success is . . having friends.
      At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.



      Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

      Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;


      BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.


      Have a wonderful day with many *smiles* 

 

And remember:

life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

 


 

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now ... the wax. Read on

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (I THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah ... right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself...RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!' OH MY GAWD!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out ... must stay conscious ... must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe ... OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip ... it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now ...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post Traumatic Stress counselling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace .... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!!" "It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair .... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color


40 Things You May Not Know

1. Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of cotton.

2. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the varieties of pickle the company once had.

3. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks - otherwise it will digest itself

4. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

5. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a "tittle".

6. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

7. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

8. A duck's quack doesn't echo ... no one knows why.

9. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

10 Every person has a unique tongue print (no licking at the scene of a crime!).

11. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

12. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was albino.

13. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

14. During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance.

15. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

16. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

17. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

18. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

19. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants!

20. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

21. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.

22. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

23. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

24. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

25. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, there was never a recorded Wendy before!

26. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

27. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

28. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

29. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

30. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

31. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.

32. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

33. American Airlines saved $40,000 in '87 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.

34. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

35. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples!

36. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

37. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

38. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

39. Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator game.

40. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages them.

 

School Photos

This really is amazing! Check it out. This website is amazing - they actually have photographs of almost every school in the world.
Unless you went to school when cameras weren't invented, you may find a photo of yourself or at least your classmates.
Click on the link below:
Enter the name of your school and the year that you were there.

 http://www.worldschoolphotographs.com/

Send this page to your friends

Click here to send this page to a friend!

 free stat counter

free counters

English

American

Canada

Dansk

Norsk

Svensk

Nederland

Chinese

Greece

Russian

 Copyright 2015 Bent Bay