Golf for Blondes The
One night a Blond Nun was praying in her
room when God appeared before her.
"My daughter, you have pleased me greatly.
Your heart is full of love
for your fellow creatures and your actions
and prayers are always for
the benefit of others. I have come to you,
not only to thank and
commend you, but to grant you anything you
"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy.
I am a bride of Christ. I
am doing what I love. I lack for nothing
material since the Church
supports me. I am content in all ways."
"There must be something you would have of
me," said God.
"Well, there is one thing," she said. "Just
name it," said God.
"It's those blond jokes. They are so
demeaning to blondes everywhere,
not just to me. I would like for blond jokes
"Consider it done," said God. "Blond jokes
shall be stricken from the
minds of humans.
But surely there is something that I could
do just for you."
"There is one thing. But it's really small,
and not worth your time,"
said the nun.
"Name it. Please," said God.
"It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so
hard to peel!"
An old, blind cowboy
wandered into an all-girl bikers' bar by
mistake. He found his way to a bar
stool and ordered some coffee. After sitting
there for awhile, he yelled to the waiter,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately fell absolutely silent,
and in a very deep, husky voice, the woman
next to him said,
"Before you tell that joke, Cowboy,
I think it is only fair, given that you are
blind, that you should know five things ;
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl .
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman
with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde
and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do
you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind cowboy thought for a second, shook
his head, and muttered, "No, not if I'm
gonna have to explain it five times."