.

13 Reasons to Smile !

 

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

 

Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

 

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me

 

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

 

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"

 

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

 

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

 

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

 

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl - Alt - Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

 

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

 

Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.

 

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

 

Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

 

 

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper.

The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

 Back to Index      Tilbage til Index  

  Free counter and web stats

Copyright 2010 Bent Bay