"I'm so glad you asked because no one these days
seems to care,and I have all these problems; my
arthritis is acting up,my eyelashes are sore, my dog
just died."
Number 9:
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,ask
them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name.
Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or
questions abouttheir company for as long as
necessary.
Number 8:
Cry out in surprise,
"Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
Judy, how have you been?"
Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments
of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could
know you from.
Number 7:
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the
Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice
as you can,"I don't have any friends... would you be my
friend?"
Number 6:
If they want to loan you money,
tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could
sure use some money.
Number 5:
Tell the telemarketer you are on
"home arrest" and ask if
they could bring you a case of
beer and some chips.
Number 4:
After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask
him/her tomarry you. When they get all flustered, tell them
that you could not just give your credit card number to a
complete stranger.
Number 3:
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment
and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so
you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that
they cannot give out their HOME number, you say
"I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at
home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say,
"Now you know how I feel!"
Number 2:
Insist that the caller is really your buddy
Leon,playing a joke. "Come on Leon , cut it out! Seriously, Leon , how's
your momma?"
And first and foremost:
Number 1:
Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY,Because you want to write EVERY WORD down